Lots has happened and few calories have been consumed today. I've just taken some tablets to get me off to sleep so you'll be able to tell when they are kicking in because my narrative will start wandering! lol.
Firstly, i woke up to an answer phone message being left from my boss:
'its quarter to ten, can you let me know if you are coming into work today because you were supposed to start at nine thirty'
Then my sister said 'arent you supposed to be working today? SHIIIIIIIT! I had overslept! I quickly got dressed and ran out the door. I had to walk so, all in all i was an hour late! I used the excuse to my boss that i thought today was the day this week i had my day off! Luckily i didnt get a pissed off ticking-off from her.
What was also fortunate was that i now only had about 3 hours till my lunch break. It wasnt the lunch part i was looking forward to, more like the break from the monotonous job! My boss left to briefly go into town and i had to fight off my temptation to eat a piece of my favourite chocolate slice. I just kept telling myself that it wasnt worth it, and that if i held off of longer i would feel better about it.
At lunchtime, i walked down into town to 'go get lunch'. At least that was the rubbish i fed my boss who said she would have picked me up something if she'd known i would have had to go back in. I was thankful she didnt - shes suspicious enough without buying me loads of calorie-ladden foods just to see me eat!
I bought a cheese sandwich (the lowest cal vegetarian sandwich out of a very poor selection), two pepsi maxes, and two foodie magazines (so i can pull out very low cal recipies). I lingered for what seemed like forever around the chocolate section, and actually picked up a fudge stick. But as i walked up to the counter, i thought how, if i ate it, one thing would lead to another. I shoved it on a random shelf and quickly walked away.
I didnt eat the sandwich, and even when i was buying it i hadnt intended to eat it. It had swooped across my mind that for half of it, it would be 200kcals (leaving 100kcals for tea), but i decided that would be risking it for tea, and also cheese is REALLY fattening. The reason i got it was if my boss was being nosey and wanted to see what i'd got. I would be prepared with a sandwich.
The rest of work hopped by quite quickly actually. I had a hard time not drooling over the meals when no one was in the store - its always a good game to make up my 'ideal meal of the day' to myself going round the store picking out foods with my eyes. I chose some meals as an emergency plan for this evening (incase nothing else was planned - i would have a guaranteed calorie-safe meal at hand): a meal for the rest of my family, a low cal veggie kids meal for me and lunch for my mum. But when i got to the till i realised i had left my card in the shop i went to get lunch! ahhh!
I will count myself lucky, because even though the food wasnt terribly bad as it could have been, it is always better not buying than actually buying food!
After work i walked to the shop and collected my card. I just wanted to get home so i marched home only to meet my mum moaning at me (again!) for not getting to work on time. I know it was bad and ive learnt it was wrong - now give it up! I know already!
I came up to my room and have been here since. It is just after 8pm now so i presume they have had their tea, so i presume (to my delight) that im going tea-gratis! lol. I have moved my drawer so that it is blocking my door, because i know no one can move it when its like that. I means its my DIY version of a lock to keep them out! lol
BTW. those of you who read my blog yesterday will know that i said i wanted to cut myself. I did last night on my legs with two types of scissors and a razor blade. It really hurts now! But i cannot complain because it is self-inflicted. I just wish i could do it to my arms because that feels more satisfying, but as i do exercise its too risky.
Right, heres the breakdown of today:
CALORIE SECTION:
MEAL FOOD CONSUMED CALS
Breakfast
Nothing 0kcal
Lunch
Nothing 0kcal
Tea
Nothing 0kcal
Snacks
Nothing 0kcal
...the only things i've really had today are:
o two bottles of pepsi max
o two pint glasses of no added sugar squash
TOTAL CALS INTAKE: 0KCAL
EXERCISE SECTION:
EXERCISE CALS BURNED
Nothing
0kcal
Unfortunately, after i got home i didnt go out again, but it got me out of tea so i think it was the better situation.
EXERCISE TOTALS BURNT: 0KCAL
Thanks for letting me know how much you like my blog Jen! I've actually managed to write in it two days in a row now! lol.
Night!
xo Poppy ox
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