Oh yes! Its been one of those days!So buckle up girls and guys - today was a bumpy ride!
The purpose of today was to go to one of the best places to shop around- a big city about an hour and a bit away from my town. Despite waking up a little later than i had wanted to, i still decided i was going to go anyway.
When i woke up i went through a number of jeans as i always do, to see which fit still. I discovered i could fit into my size gap jeans which were one of my goal jeans! I was so chuffed that i decided to wear them!I got on the bus around 12.30 and enjoyed an hours bus ride - just me and my thoughts. I get a small spark of thrill running through me like electricity current when i travel off to somewhere - like an adventure! I was so excited to be doing it. I hadnt had anything to eat and remained throughout the afternoon, quite happy to chew on my piece of gum.
I bought a pair of pyjamas a size down (and even they are lose on me!), two new work tops that were two sizes down - even though they are a smidgen too tight, by Christmas they will be lose on me again! I also got a new duvet set :). I picked up some chocolate for my sister and a bar for me which i was quite happy with leaving be - it was something i was going to save. I did some food shopping in marks and sparks - stir fry, veggies and i got some vegetarian meals. THese meals are good if i need to make it look to my family that im eating more because they look more substantial however i check the calorie and fat content to make sure its under my limit.
This whole week i'd been on tescos and sainsburys grocery shopping, constantly putting foods in and out of the baskets - making good shopping baskets and binge shopping baskets. One thing that i could never quite remove was a treacle tart. So when i saw a treacle tart in m&s, do you think i could resist it? No. I bought it along with the other bits. My plan with it was to split it into 6 and c&s it over 6 days - a piece per day. After my hours of shopping i got back on the bus and gloated at my purchases. My back had been giving me major twinges all day and felt really sore and it occured to me it only does that before a period!
Excuse me being so personal for a second but this is the 2nd time that i think i might come on regularly and its horrible! I dont want it this often! lol. It amazes and scares me that im coming on regularly now - i prefered it when i was irregular i think! lol.
Anyway, when i got home my back was giving me such bad twinges that i decided it probably wasnt best to go to boxercise. Plus there was delicious looking treacle tart in my bag. I decided that if i weighed myself it would put me off eating it. When i weighed myself i hant lost anything since the night before! A whole day of hunger pangs and i didnt lose a thing! After that i lost it, i just threw caution to the wind and decided to binge.
When my parents had gone out, and my sister safely shut in her room i turned my ipod speakers up high and, after stuffing the entire tart to the point of not being able to swallow it any more, i purged it back up. To ensure that i got all of it out, i used my fingers a few times, and even though i hate it, it works to get all of it out. Luckily the music drowned out my gagging otherwise there would have been questions!
Then my parents came home and we cooked up our meals. I had bought a new vegetarain meal - cous cous, lentil and feta buckwheat pancakes: 1 pancake per serving. It was lovely! I really enjoyed them! My mum brought up the question of carbs and asked if i was eating any - i lied through my teeth and said i was eating bread for my sandwiches and pasta which i had for lunch sometimes. I soooo dont! As i had binged on the tart, i wouldnt allow myself a hot chocolate or jelly.
I went upstairs then around 9pm there was a crach downstairs. It was only when we saw our stepdad run out into the street that we went into the conservatory and saw that some youths had smashed a rock through our conservatory window! im sorry but - BASTARDS! So i had to phone the local police and give them details but nothing will be done. It shook us up a bit though - we are a bit worried they will start robbing next! :z
Afterwards i came upstairs and in the spur of the moment binged on all the chocolate bars i had bought today. I had also bought some custard which i b/p as well. When i purged i also felt alot of my tea coming up so i have no idea how many calories i have actually consumed today! Im now knackered and worried about my weight and annoyed about the early start tomorrow because that only leaves me with 5 hours sleep now! nooooo...
CALORIE SECTION:
(seperate list below for binged/purged foods)
MEAL FOOD CONSUMED CAL
Breakfast
Nothing 0ckal
Lunch
Nothing 0kcal
Tea
1 cous cous pancake 230kcal
veggies 60kcal
Snacks
1 piece of gum 5kcal
Drinks
1xdiet coke 4kcal
3xglass of water 0kcal
1xbottle of still flav water 0kcal
CAL INTAKE TOTAL 299KCAL
EXERCISE SECTION:
EXERCISE CALS BURNED
Walking general 200kcal
CALS BURNED TOTAL 200kcal
Right, im gonna have to go because i feel absoloutely shit after that purge and i feel as though its all still in me even though i cant get any more out. Im scared to weigh myself!
Wish me luck!
x Poppy x
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