Te He! I feel im allowed to gloat today as ive done good, although i should add very tiny emerging horns in the back because i have had one slip up today.
But, poo that, im going to be chuffed with myself today, because if im not then it will be no incentive for the next few days climb up my mountain!
Geez - didnt realise it was so late! Ive got to go to work tomorrow that ought to be fun (not! lol). I've been so crappy with getting up recently that ive bought these caffiene pills which im going to try, so that hopefully it will encourage me to wake up when my alarm goes off rather than just turn it off and go to sleep. Thing is when i wake up im in such a deep almost-comatose sleep that i dont even conciously know im doing what im doing. Then when i do wake up fully later, i wonder if i actually did it or not. Hence the pills!
Gosh - that was a very long winded way of going round it! lol. But enough jabbering on about caffiene 'jitterbug' pills, lets crack on to todays events.
I got up bright, early and...err, groggy today! lol. I got picked up by the family friend who runs the exercise classes that i go to. So, it was 8.30am and off we went on the bikes spinning away for 45 minutes. You know, i actually really enjoy spinning - if there's a class near you give it a go! Then straight after the spinning class, i went on and did 1 hour of body combat (weights, and a little bit of cardio). It felt really good after and im looking for weights now so i can keep them in my room and use them when my family are out.
OMG - huge cringe moment 10 minutes before the end of my conditioning class, my period came on! Thats nearly a month exact since i last had it - im NEVER regular, and have never been in my life. Thats why it freaked me out so much. I had to rush off as soon as the class finished! How embarassing! :z
Anyways, enough girly gory details! I got home and did the usual shower and surfing in the internet. When i got out the shower it was 11am and i was determined to wait, at least, until 12 midday before i sucumbed to my yoghurt. I managed to distract myself until 1pm before i went down and made myself some more of that delicious yoghurty stuff! If anyone tries it please let me know if you liked it or not. I think its delish!
I can never tell one moment why you gave in to impulses, and when looking back you cant fathom why you did it. This is particularly common in a binge episode, you either remember every detail of what you did a few monutes up until the binge (moving things, what you were looking at) or the moment when you decided to take that food you so desperately wanted is frozen in time between blanks in your memory. I cant remember what i had been doing but all i know was that i was trying very hard to resist a solero ice cream in the lounge and next im eating it, all! Im not looking so saintly now am i?
It wasnt a binge parsay - not like i used to do! God - those really were binges! But its the out of control bit that so clearly reminds me of a binge, and the moment of regret afterwards. I dont know what i got up to in those hours straight after eating the lolly, but something clearly, because when i next looked at the clock it was 3pm!
I decided enough was enough - i had things to do in town and i needed to burn those calories off SOMEHOW! It just seemed unacceptable that they could stay there glooping around in my stomach - i wanted to claw it out. I marched into town and made sure i didnt actually stop when i walked around any of the shops, collecting what i needed to get for home.
I managed to avoid the sweet sections in two shops and just gey what i needed. I got my sister a chocolate bar so that when she got back she would say thatk you and did i have one? I'd be able to say, yes i had it earlier, and it would seem as though id eaten more. Also i washed and wiped up all my dirty stuff and put it all away so they couldnt tell by the lack of dirty pots and pans on the side that id only had yoghurt...and that damn solero! I at least made the wrapper really obvious in the bin so they saw id had it.
When i got home i only had an hour before my family got back. I was a bit gutted because i was hoping to squeeze in a 40 minute aerobic session to myself but nevertheless i ploughed away at the housework i had to get done and worked up a bit of a sweat. Note: Squats doesnt really work though, unless you're cleaning banisters! lol
When they got home, everyone was in a good mood with me because id done the jobs and they were less stressed (yes!). Only an hour later and they headed back out again. When i heard they were going out, i couldnt believe my ears and seized the chance to say - 'can i have my tea when you're out? Im starving!'. They said yes!
Finally some more luck comes my way. As they left i knew that faking having my tea would be no case of just binning it. I'd need to cook it and get all the plates believably dirty so they would think i'd eaten. I cooked the food, and tipped loads of greasy oil all over it before i was tempted to try a bit. Then i emptied the food into a spare bag and chucked it into another bin bag and then into the bins outside. I didnt wash up this time so they would think i had eaten due to the mess, and i even smeared some sauce on the counter so it looked like id spilt something while cooking.
It was all-in-all sucessful, they came home a believed me. I cleaned up then and ran away before they started cooking the delicious garlic ciabatta bread they had brought back. Bear in mind, they had also brought back dairy milk bars and smarties - it was tough! I stayed up on my room while they ate and only came back down once the smell had died away. I keep taking sniffs of my cinammon smelly bag like its drugs or something cos im trying to distract myself from the obvious food smell! lol.
So, everything is now finished and i need to get to bed so that 1) i can be up bright and early tomorrow and 2) so that i wont feel these hunger pains any longer...and my next hoodia pill isnt till tomorrow!
BTW. I believe hoodia does work. I dont think it reduces my blatant cravings. For example. its supposed to be taken as part of a healthy balancd diet - as mine is not balanced and occasionally almost non-existant i will feel some cravings right? But my hunger pains have gone down tremendously! Its brilliant i can get through the day without being bent double for part of it! Maybe i was just being wimpy! lol
Right, heres the results of today:
CALORIE SECTION:
MEALS FOOD CONSUMED CAL
Breakfast
Nothing 0kcal
Lunch
100g alpro soya low fat yoghurt 59kcal
2xteaspoon of sweetner 4kcal
1/2 tspn of lemon zest 1kcal
Tea
Nothing 0kcal
Snack
solero smoothie lolly 99kcal
2x sugarfree gum pieces 10kcal
CALORIE INTAKE TOTAL 173KCAL
EXERCISE SECTION:
EXERCISE CALS BURNED
45 minutes spinning, hard 550kcal
1 hour body conditioning, hard 450kcal
1 hour fast paced walking into, around and out of town 200kcal
EXERCISE CALS BURNED 1200KCAL
So, altogether an almost perfect day. Although i suppose a perfect day would be nothing at all, but im still happy with myself. I just cant let it slip tomorrow because there's a meal out and im worried that i will slip! :z
Must go because im going to be dead on my feet tomorrow morning, at this rate!
x Poppy x
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