Now...there'd be no point me giving you the ins-and-outs of my day today because frankly its been pretty empty. There have been quite a few hours which i can definitely mark under 'not doing much' but cannot remember exaclty what i did - was probably surfin the net! lol
I had a late night, and kept waking up - when i eventually got up the next day it was 2.30pm! Yeah i know - really late! So, by that point, i was only left with 3 and a half hours before my family came back. I did look on the bright side of this late lie in and think that at least it meant i'd already missed brekkie and lunch without batting an eyelid - literally!
When my family did get home at 6pm we only had a little while to catch up then we all decided to go to the circuit training class this evening! What a family outing! lol. I was glad to be doing something and burning off some cals - im so desperate to lose at least a pound before tuesday.
When we got back, mum kicked up a bit of a fuss about the fact i only wanted to have soup. I just told her that WAS what i was having, and i wasnt hungry for anything else. I think if she really kicked up a fuss about my meals, i would also get really angry and stand my ground. She wanted me to have a jacket potato - think of all the carbs! :z
After my tea, i allowed myself to have a small pot of jelly. Im going to try to wean myself off sweet foods that i binge on by not cutting things out altogether to begin with. So, even though im not allowing myself chocolate bars, i can have a sugar free jelly pot (4kcals) or a low fat hot chocolate wmade with water (33-45kcal).
Thats pretty much it for today:
CALORIE SECTION:
MEALS FOOD CONSUMED CAL
Breakfast
Nothing 0kcal
Lunch
Nothing 0kcal
Tea
1/2 carton of soup 165kcal
small pot of jelly 4kcal
Snack 1 piece of gum 5kcal
Drinks
2xdiet coke 8kcal
1xpepsi max 1kcal
bottle of s-free squash 6kcal
CALORIE INTAKE TOTAL 189KCAL
EXERCISE SECTION:
EXERCISE CALS BURNED
1 hour circuit training, hard 500kcal
EXERCISE CAL BURN TOTAL 500KCAL
Well - tomorrow's the final push. I'll be at work most of the day so that will mean less temptation for binging, but harder to resist picking. It should be ok though and maybe i'll get a workout in afterwards. Must go because im muchos tired and need to get up early tomorrow.
NOTE TO ANNAMARIE: Thanks for your kind note of concern and help. I know my cutting is bad, especially now i want to swim and find its all over my legs! I've had problems with s/h for a long time now - about 10 years. I do it alot less now so its not so much an issue of concern for me. Hopefully now my eating has the opportunity to be more under control i will be less inclined to do it. I tend to find the more i lose weight and gain control of my eating (i.e. less calories) then the less i feel i want to hurt myself - because s/h is a type of punishment to the body. To answer your question about if i have a partner, i dont. I havent had one in a long while, but then as my lifestyle (ED, s/h, depression) is so demanding in mental terms you can become very reclusive so dont get out much. I dont find it hard to date but as i said before, i give all my energies to my ED - hoping its all going towards the same goal. I agree about the 'picking yourself up' after a binge - i never used to do that, just used to dig myself into a bigger hole and gave up when i binged. This time i vowed i wouldnt do that, and everytime i binge and/or purge (which is probably far too often) i just pick myself up the next day and try harder. Because the end goal is worth it. Let me know how your doing - my email is lifeisafreefallplunge@hotmail.co.uk
BTW TO TCSTAR: Im sorry i havent replied to your message yet, i will get onto it tomorrow. hope your ok - keep at it and you'll get there! xx
Must snooze now!
Poppy @-,-'--
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