Pain is just another form of expression, hunger is a means to achieve it.

Boo! Back again for another day, and i must be blessed with beginner's luck (erm...apart from the fact im not 'beginning' this, perhaps its luck through persistance!)


Anyhoo, today has turned out well! I did have a sinking feeling last night that my desperate scrambling for some foothold in my regime would be fruitless and i would sink into binging again, but alas ive found stable footing! ...and it appears good so far!

The only downer to last night was that, as usual, it overlapped into today and i didnt drop off to sleep until 6.00am! That left me only an hours sleep before i had to pull myself back up again and to work! It was tough, and i wished i hadnt run out of caffiene pills that usually help me on my way. Surprisingly, i arrived at work on time and not too tired.

It was a long day and the last few hours dragged. Luckily, the taster was easy to avoid as it wasn't vegetarian-friendly! Lunch was a chance for me to catch some air and dip into my book! Ive been getting so easily distracted by my books that i found it easier than i thought to ignore my stomach, and get lost in my own world.

As predicted, a lift was waiting for me outside the shop and i was home by 6.30pm. As soon as i was in my room, i felt the edges of sleepiness creep onto me. It wasnt too long until dinner then, and i knew that if i didnt eat something now then when it came to later i would binge. I sufficed with a soup.

For the rest of the evening, ive been trying to keep myself awake a little longer, and saturating myself in the mutifaceted tones of linkin park! true gods!

Im about to drop off in about 5 seconds, which gives me enough tome to say adios and a bientot!

...oh! and this! -

CALORIE SECTION:

MEAL FOOD CONSUMED CAL

Breakfast
Nothing 0kcal

Lunch
Nothing 0kcal

Tea
1/2 carton soup 163kcal

Snack
Nothing 0kcal

Drinks
2xpepsi max bottles 4kcal
1xpepsi max can 1kcal

TOTAL CAL INTAKE 168KCAL

EXERCISE SECTION:

EXERCISE CALS BURNED

30 min brisk walk to work 100kcals

TOTAL EXERCISE CAL BURNED 100kcals

Byeeee!

Poppy xXx

A simple day keeps trouble away... but it makes things awfully dull!

Heya all!
We im back blogging as scheduled and what better way to start than a good day!

Im afraid today wont be a long blog, given the fact that today was my day off today. what did i do with it? sleep, sleep and oh, a bit more sleep! Extremely lazy maybe, but tomorrow im working so i can make up for all that sleeping! lol.

Basically, in a nutshell, my sleep cycle is so off that it could smell like blue cheese! I woke up at 3.30pm (i know!) and it wasnt until 4pm that i was dressed and decent enough to be called 'concious'. After this i spent an hour on my computer, and told myself that as soon as it got to 5pm i would begin the ironing. But...*dramatic music* my mum decided today was the day to come home an hour early.

I tried to tell her that i was about to get on it but she just said 'i dont want to know. go away'. So i went up to my room and have been here ever since, bar needing the loo. The benefits of these more frequent little arguments is that i dont have to come down to tea. I feel guilty at the little drop of pleasure that i feel when things do break into a spat and i think to myself 'yes! no tea tonight!'.

So today has been rather simple in one way, and rather dull in another! The rest of this week will probably be just as bad, but wait until i go to Bath on Sunday and things should be a bit more interesting then, as im hoping to fast for the days im there.

Here's the low down:

CALORIE SECTION:

MEAL FOOD CONSUMED CAL

Breakfast
Nothing 0kcal

Lunch
Nothing 0kcal

Tea
Nothing 0kcal

Snack
Nothing 0kcal

Drinks
2xpepsi max 2kcal

CAL INTAKE TOTAL 2KCAL

EXERCISE: N/A

Hope you're all doing well. Its so nice to speak to you all again, i've missed it!

Until tomorrow...

Poppy xoxo

I'm back with a vengeance, and a lot of apologising!

There isn’t a good way to start this so I’m just going to jump right in. To say sorry to everyone who has been sending me wonderfully comforting messages doesn’t seem enough. I cannot give you an adequate reason for my absence for so long, but I can tell you I'm back again.


It’s been a rough few weeks and my eating has been running proverbial loops around me. My self-harming reflects the madness of my eating habits, and so, suffices to say, my body is looking a bit like a giant carved ham at the moment.

As the time went on, it has become harder and harder to contemplate answering back. My weight, although I have not gained, remains roughly the same minus 2lbs. This disappointment and shame, along with the Twilight series, has kept me away from my computer for long enough.

I hope you can forgive me for not giving you much of an explanation, especially after all the supportive comments and emails I?ve got. I can say that after the wedding my family were getting close to guessing, and it was painful for me to have to reel my habits in a bit, until they looked away again. Past that I have no excuse....apart from Twilight (like I just said).

What I can tell you is that is that I didn?t end up back in hospital and, as you can tell, I'm not dead. I am back again, and intend to be here for the long run. I will re-start my blogs up this Monday 17th November.

Again, thanks to all of you. Over the weekend I promise to reply to any emails that have been sent.

Speak soon and much love,

Poppy xoxo