Im going to make this a quick blog because its really late here. Its my fault really - i found a really good programme on youtube called Starved, about 4 people with different eating disorders. Its really funny as well!
Im trying to focus on the positives of today although i know its not good enough. I need to tighten my belt (proverbially) and become stricter with myself. Given my day today the cal intake hasnt been as catastrophic as it could have been, however it could have also have been alot better.
I got up early this morning and went to my first session of body conditioning (in US it would be called body sculpt). I was a little disappointed because i didnt come out as puffed out and sweaty as i usually do and felt that it didnt exert me enough. I generally like to come out of workoouts reli sweaty and hot, knowing ive done exercise - only then do i feel i have burnt off cals.
Anyways, that burnt 350kcals. I came back home and went on the internet for a bit before walking into town with my sister to pre-order my baloons for my birthday celebrations on sunday. I chose purple, lilac and gold! yay! My power colours. Next we caught the bus to the city to get tickets for mama mia and wait until mum finished work and we'd go see the film.
As we arrived a hour and a half early, we had nothing to do for a good while. We ended up in McDonalds and, while my sister got a small fries and milkshake, i just had a diet coke. When i talked to mum on the phone, there seemed to be some wiggle room. Even though mcdonalds is crap food, i saw an opportunity to get away with having tea without having to worry about it later. The calories would come out around the same. Mum agreed it would be ok.
So my sister and i shared a single cheeseburger. For half of it, it was only 160kcal. Although worse in fat. I took my time over it, picking it to pieces and not stuffing. Eventually we left for the film.
When we got into the cinema, mum said she'd bought us a daim bar each. It was dark so i couldnt see the cals but light enough so that she was eagerly watching us tuck into them. I took small bits, trying to stall for time while i tried to remember how many cals were in one. It got consumed and i had to resign myself to the fact that i would have to look when i got back.
After the film, its pretty much the same old same old. Now home ive been in my room completely tidying it - it looks much better now and my head feels less chaotic.
CAL FOOD SECTION:
MEALS FOOD CONSUMED CAL
Breakfast
Nothing
Lunch
Nothing
Tea
1/2 a cheeseburger 160kcal
Snacks
1 daim bar 181kcal
TOTAL 341KCAL
EXERCISE SECTION:
EXERCISE CALS BURNED
50 mins body conditioning meduim burn 350kcal
(i wont count walking because it was minimal today)
TOTAL 350KCAL
What i am most disappointed with today is the fact that it was all high fat stuff. It was all things that i should be banning and not bear to touch with my hands. Instead, im still eating it. I so want to improve on that count, and any suggestions would be welcome. I did go over my cal intake but i will cut back tomorrow - and also, it could have been alot worse because when i usually start to consider eating like that i would get alot of stuff and begin to binge.
Right, must go - im going to watch more of that programme.
Hope you are all doing well - missin your comments
x Poppy x
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