Today has been the foulest of the foul days in the south of UK! Yuck! However, this has not stopped me and ive powered through to another sucessful day!
I seem to have had a few good days recently so something must be right! Im hoping this well keep going, but im not going to put much pressure on myself because otherwise it leads to a binge and that, fellow sufferers, is that last thing we want!
Now, if you recall, one or two blogs ago i said that i thought my parents might have an inkling of whats going on? Well, all bets are off! As im in the middle of my break from uni, ive been trying to sort out my accomodation for when i go back. Im worried i will have to go back into housing instead of halls and mum said she'd phone up and ask on medical grounds for halls. She said 'because we dont want that happening again'. Little do they know that it actually never left...
For lunch i did the same trick as last time - set it up to make it look like i'd eaten pasta. I actually had two crackers and an apple as usual. My sister came back and i cycled into town to do a few bits. The last stop was the supermarket. Always, unfortunately, is. I meant to just get a box of crackers because my mum likes them as well, but i came out with more. (surprise, surprise).
I picked up the bits without feeling frightened or worried because i knew that i wasnt going to go back and ingest them all. My idea was set: i was going to c/s them. I got home and immediately stuffed half the pack of cookies and half the chocolate bar. Rather than swallow i just spat it out into a container. Its satisfying when you put it in your mouth, but way dissatisfying when you have to spit it out. Its like going against every taste, mouth and oesophagus reflex, because it wants to swallow it. I wasnt about to let it.
For the rest of the afternoon i chilled with my sister who, for once it seems, didnt bother me with questions about food. We just watched TV. My mum came back home later and we went to circuit training and burnt burnt burnt those horrible calories! It was worth it and i felt so good once i'd finished!
When planning tea it seemed to turn in my favour. We had bought a pack of vegetarian stuffed peppers and, though originally not for me, i was going to have one with some salad. This was a particularly good turnout because the stuffed peppers were only 135kcals! And yummy too!
I felt marginally guilty because the peppers had had oil in them but only a little. Not by us cooking them but already in. Anyways, after tea, i came up here and finished c/s on the cookies leaving two. I dont know what possessed me, but i left two telling myself that as my cal intake had been so good today i could allow myself those two (they are 55kcals each!!!). I think i just wanted to feel the sensation of them going down. Afterwards, though, it was like my body wouldnt allow it and, with help from me, i purged them back up.
So, here i am, although its been a slightly wobbly day with the chocolate and cookies, it turned out ok and hopefully tomorrow will again land in my favour. I dont think there's anything else for now so i'll just post my intakes and outakes for today and say adios! lol
CALORIE SECTION:
MEAL FOOD CONSUMED CAL
Breakfast
Nothing 0kcal
Lunch
2 x crackers 28kcal
apple 70kcal
Tea
m&s stuffed pepper with salad 135kcal
Snack
2 x pieces of gum 10kcal
a pack of cookies and a bar of white chocolate b/p all
TOTAL CALORIES 243KCAL
EXERCISE SECTION:
EXERCISE CALS BURNED
1 hour circuit training, hard workout 600kcal
20 mins (10 in/10 back from town) moderate 150kcal
TOTAL EXERCISE 750KCAL
Right, nighty-night!
Love to you all.
Poppy xx
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