So... i weighed myself at around 12.30. The results are in.
TOTAL LOST OR GAINED:
LOST 6LB!
I'm really chuffed as i tried hard this week. Even if i only lost 4lb each week for the next two weeks thats still a stone lost in under a month!
This is my first week so im expecting my weight loss to slow down but i will hopefully persist.
Its hard and earlier this evening i just thought about giving up. Its like climbing a continous mountain with no breaks. I am almost positive my family have worked out some of the puzzle pieces and its only a matter of time before they put them together. I am constantly trying to put them off the scent. But i have gone from someone who is constantly eating and always finished dinner and hardly exercised, to someone who leaves half of her dinner, skips meals and exercises all the time!
My family know about my ED because it got very bad last year/early this year. So its not like they can overlook it because they are not aware of it. My sister is off college now for the entire week which means she will constantly be asking me if i've had lunch and telling on me to mum. I'm a bit lost on how i can continue this as a long term things if people are already interfering.
Today has been ok. I was half an hour late for work (again) because i overslept. My boss said if i dont buck my ideas up in the next two weeks then she would probably have to let me go.
I skipped anything for lunch as well. I ended up stuffing two of the mini bite samples of brownie while i was in charge of the shop (my boss was out). I had to leave the shop floor for a few minutes (no one was there - it was dead) and purge it up in the loo.
The only thing i had for lunch was a cherry coke which my boss hates the smell of. Today she said 'eugh! got that horrible stuff again?'. I felt like saying 'yes, i have! because its the only sodding sweet tasting stuff i can have without feeling guilty! Butt out!'. Obviously i didnt
For tea my mum wasnt going to be around so i was asked to bring home food. Luckily it was only a shepherds pie for two which we split by three. I only ate half. But my sister kept saying 'you've hardly eaten anything! Thats such a waste! Why aren't you eating it?'. In the end i managed to change the subject then vacate the table.
But this evening, she brought it up again, and actually hit the nail on the head. She knows me better than anyone but i wish she didnt. She said 'you're eating less and skipping meals, and you have been doing more exercise'. I shouted at her that why did everyone pressume thats its always something sinister with food. I pretended to sound as though i was upset and said that the reason i didnt eat all my food was because i didnt want to feel full because then i want to be sick.
This point above causes my family lots of problems. For example, the downstairs toilet walls began leaking water from their pipes which could have been down to me. So im thinkin they may accept it as a good reason. As for more exercise, i told her i wanted to be slimmer for the holiday. Anyways, we will see...
Here is my calorie chart for the day:
MEAL FOOD CONSUMED CAL
Breakfast
Nothing 0kcal
Lunch
diet cherry coke 0kcal
2 x pieces of gum 10kcal
Tea
1/2 of a third of shepards pie 135kcal
small port. of vegetables 0kcal
Snacks
2 bites of brownie Purged
3 x pieces of gum 15kcal
TOTAL 160KCAL
(lol! so much for shortening the calorie table!)
Note: i have started to add in the things i have purged as well because then at least i can keep a more through track of things.
EXERCISE CALS BURNED
30 min fast walk 100kcal
1hr hard gyming 450kcal
Burned off 550kcal today
TOTAL - 390KCAL
(Thats MINUS, as in i burned more than i ate! woohoo!)
So, all news is in and reported. I must to my bed now and hope tomorrow is kind to me.
See ya! By the way, my bottoms are loose now! im excited!
Poppy !
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