- Note: paradox - a word or statement that contradicts itself. Try and work the statement out above, it goes in a loop! And is, i suppose, quite true of EDs.
Well...this is it! The last blog before my fast and three days away! When i get back i expect to see lots of poll replies on the 'paper doll project'.
Today has been a weird day. I suppose its good apart from the end of it.
I went to work in the morning on a bit of gum and, of course, my multi vits!
Work was quite busy so i didnt have much time to think about being hungry. I did feel quite wobbly tho and banged into a few things throughout the day. But then maybe thats me being a dunce! lol
For lunch i told my boss i was going to enjoy the sunshine. I went outside and sat on the wall and read. Another piece of gum.
Unfortunately in the afternoon i had spotted some cut up fruit and nut slice. This is my favourite - and dont be fooled by the fruit and nuts! lol. I sucumbed to 4 pieces today! I'm so glad i walked to work in the morning because they cancelled each other out.
So the afternoon took a bit of a downer as i regretted eating it. It prayed on my mind. When i got home i fell asleep because i'd only had 3 hours sleep the night before! Then i got woken up for tea.
Tea was a corn on the cob and half a carton of soup. I really didnt feel hungry, i think part of it was because i was still picturing the fruit and nut pieces in my head. Anyway, i ate my corn on the cob and half of my half a carton of soup (following me?! lol). Im not joking, i really was stuffed. I took three diet fat busting pills when i got upstairs to reduce fat intake.
Mum then came back home. I, dont know why, reached for a choc bar. It was stupid, and as soon as it entered my mouth i knew i would have to purge it. I swallowed some and threw it up, i also chewed and spat some. However, the chocolate was becoming too thick to get up well so i went downstairs to get more water. I could feel it rising so was trying to hurry...
Cue my mother! I rushed into the kitchen and got the water, only to get accosted by her. She said she wanted to talk about my day and i had to sit. I really was panicking because i didnt want the urge to subside. She just chatted away, veering onto the subject of what ive been eating. She said 'have you eaten anything today?'. I was really annoyed i said 'yes! I had tea, and (sarcastically) i had witnesses!'. She said yes, a few spoonfuls of soup. I said i was full. She then said most people had lunch (me: 'had' - lie), tea (me: 'had'). I said 'ive had those today so whats the problem. She got fed up with me after that and said i could go. I wasnt about to argue.
I went straight up to my bedroom and purged. I had to flush using the water. If you dont know what flushing is or c&s then check out my key which is somewhere in the archives of the blogs. After i got rid of the food i still got acid reflux in my throat which is really uncomfortable cos it makes you think you still have things to purge when you dont.
So, we are up to date now. I am still feeling fat and despite the choc being out and the fruit and nut squares burnt off i still imagine them glooping around in my stomach and making globbules of sickly fat.
Tomorrow is day one of my 3 day fast. Its only 3 days because on the 28th my family are coming up to collect my stuff and they want to go to the indian. bugger! I have been trying to look up calories for the indian but they are all really high! Also i cant exercise in Bath because i dont have gym membership there. I might have to run up and down the hill near my house for half an hour or something.
So, onto weighing - i dont think my weighing results have ever been this far down the page! I am doing two totals/results. Firstly i will show the total based on my weight last weighing day. My second total will be from the point of my lowest weight so far these last few weeks.
Well, i have just wobbled onto the scales...and i cant believe it! it must have been water weight otherwise its a miracle!
TOTAL 1 (COMPARED TO LOWEST WEIGHT SO FAR) GAINED OR LOST:
LOST 5LB
TOTAL 2 (COMPARED TO LAST WEEK) GAINED OR LOST:
LOST 11LB!!
hOw ThE hElL dId I dO tHaT!!!!...
I think i may have to come back down to Earth though, and admit that it is highly unlikely that it was all fat (although my clothes are now being held up by a very tight belt!). I suspect it could have been water weight as i took a colon cleanser and some andrews salts while i was there and must have weighed myself while the water was retained.Just incase you are double taking, here's my final calorie intake for the week:
MEAL FOOD CONSUMED CAL
Breakfast
1 piece of gum 5kcal
pepsi max 0kcal
Lunch
2 pieces of gum 10kcal
pepsi max 0kcal
Tea
1/2 a half carton of soup 100kcal
one corn on the cob (covered in salt) 18kcal
Snack
4 pieces of fruit and nut traybake 100kcal
lindt choc bar b/p, c&s
a large bottle of evian 0kcal
TOTAL 233KCAL
Exercise today (v. limited! lol)
EXERCISE CALS BURNED
35 min 2mph walk to work 100kcal
TOTAL 133KCAL
*FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DONT KNOW WHAT I MEAN BY B/P AND C&S THEN PLEASE REFER TO MY KEY WHICH IS IN THE BLOG ARCHIVE*
Right, girlies (and possibly guylies! lol) im afraid we are almost at the end of my blog tonight. Before i say goodbye, i have some information and advice for Cara, who left me a message on the guestbook.
I am going to miss writing to you again. But this time i promise to write down my blog each night so when i get back on you can have a blog reading marathon! lol.
!! MESSAGE TO CARA: I have had a good scout on the net to try and find the answer to your question. The simple answer is that there is no answer! lol. I mean, look at my week and i dont know how i lost it! othet times its so stubborn and i dont lose a thing!
Of course, in a motherly capacity, i would say that your body is still growing and changing. I know thats the last thing you want it to do but you are a healthy weight for your age. You didnt specify if you are already ana or mia but if you havent got an ED i wouldnt advise you to get one.
On the other hand, thats my rant over! lol. All the sites i went on gave me different information. One site says 3 to 4lbs a day, whereas another says 1lb. I would say 1lb a day was more accurate as you get further into the fast. I couldnt find any information on how long it would take to lose that much but how important is it to you?
For example, if you got to the date you said you were supposed to lose it by and hadnt would you stop? Or would you carry on, therefore making the goal date pointless?
I hope you dont think im sounding rude cos im not meaning to! lol. I hope you lose the weight if its important to you, im sure you will. Here below are some sites i found the info from:
http://drbenkim.com/fasting.html - this one is the most useful and has all the information about benefits, weight loss etc you might want
also alot of people post questions about fasting on yahoo answers so if you have a scout about you might find something useful...
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Arx2jE7N8782P_5KkNwLtEsjzKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20060610115621AAWQDLp
Good Luck!
NOTE: I POSTED ANOTHER BLOG TODAY BELOW JUST INCASE YOU'VE MISSED IT...
Right, time for me to go... If you want me to try to answer any other questions then feel free to put them on my guestbook but i wont be able to reply to them until sunday now. Keep up the good work guys and im rooting for all of you.
We WILL all be thin, pretty and free
Poppy
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